gorgeouslysinful,ouch!

pretty ever after

2009-01-20T21:50:00.000-08:00

Its 2009 already.The blog is full of spiderwebs n dust.Damn filthy.Lol.
Anyhows,i've decided to put a fullstop to my current relationship and transform it into friendship.
I only prays that one day he'll understand n learn to accept tings dat doesnt go his way.
Cus seriously he's just hurting me n makin me suffer in dis r'ship.
Im the one tryin hard to let go and there he is creatin more obstacles for me.
And believe me,i've went too many obstacles with him already.
It just wun work afterall.
Due to family restrictions which i have to obey.
The sad thing is,i cant see myself with him in the future.
There's totally none.
I dun wana waste his time n mine.
I dun wana make dis more harder just like how u ppl advised me earlier.
Let go while u can,let go while it still early.
So here it is.
Im tryin to change to become a better person.
More feminine n soft-spoken,like how i used to be.
And i wana become a family person! Yay!
Cos sumone accused me of trying to act like a SUMBODY.
like puhlease!
U tink ur the only person with an ego?
With a temper?
Due to patience,i've tried to remain silent.
But its gettin too much,and now i've rebel.
And my mouth cant stop hurling vulgarities str8 to ur face.
U tink good naive kental girls dun have the right to be angry?
And when they're mad,it doesnt make dem a SUMBODY.
It was u who created dem to be a sumbody.
Cos ur the role model.
Dey followed ur into footsteps.
And when dat person started hurling tings which u've ever scold dem before,
u said dey wana becum sumbody!
Whaddha heck!
When a sweet girl meets a matrip,dey can take over the role of a matrip due to the way they speak.
But dat doesnt make her a MINAH!
And dat doesnt make her a SOMEBODY!
U wana point fingers,point dem str8 to the matrip.
And the rest is history.

Ps,i never self proclaimed to be sumone or act like one cos im just feeza. The only ONE!

Emotion Unstability

2008-11-12T16:08:00.000-08:00

I feel so shitty.It feels like shit.Im so fucked up.I dunno wad else to do.
My only damn weakness is vulnerability and people tend to step over my fucking damn head.
And yeah,it feels like shit.Lemme repeat dat,SHIT!I dunno how guys look at we girls nowadays.
Do we have 'SLUT,WHORE,BITCH,PROSTITUTE' tattooed on our forehead?
Just for the record,i dun like SHARING.
I can't accept all these infidelity and adultery crap.
Not even wen i happened to be ur old time friend.NO!Not with me.U can fool the other party.But just not with me.Ive been thru enuff.I've sufferred tremendous pain already.I don't wana go thru dat fuckin scene anymore.Oh yeah,u can go on blabbering sympathising with whatever shits i've been thru.But,u make no difference to some jerks or assholes out dere.U're just the same.
Oh wait,maybe i was right all along.maybe i was blinded but all those sweet talks.
Yeah,vulnerability causes heart pain.YES! (with an exclamation mark)
But guys keep sayin no and yadayadayada.
You noe wad?KISS MY FUCKIN WHITE ASS!
Maybe i was right all along.
From the very first start,u were just playing with emotions.
U were just fooling around.
And yeah,dis will be the last.
Cos from now on i shall despise u.
We finally met.
We had our last kiss,last hug.
But dere wasn't any goodbye.
So let it be.
Let it remain this way.
Let the words remain unspoken.
Cos as far as i am concern,if i happened to see u again...
I'll pretend i dunno u.
Cos i dun wana fall for u again and again and again..
And let my emotions go thru all the pain.
Been dere done dat.
ENUFF!

test test

2008-11-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

I duno.
Shall i start with the usual introduction of blablabla or shall i just get straight to the facts? I mean i dun wana bore u ppl with the same lame-oh lame-oh leyy.Whatever.Anyways,durin my absence from all these blogging shits,i've closed my previous account (so take note) and decide to create a new one.I love rantin shits and express myself through writings.I miss the emo. Haha. And plus its an easy accessibility to keep updated about ur dearest BFF's.I mean dun lie u bitches.Sometimes u just dun have the time to make that simple phone call.But deep down,u noe u're dere for each other.kan kan kan?

Old school bitches.
It was very impromptu lor.Cheeey macam tgh rehearsals pulak.Zahida,yess that crazy woman smsed at 6 in the morning.Yes,at 6am!Just to ask why the hell i called last night.So from there,we both found out that we're free,jobless and of no fucking use.So we decided to go job hunting.I recently ended my contract with Diners International Club dealing with Credit Cards and all that sorts lah.Previously,i was working in United Colors of Benetton.For a year then quit. Some will say im stupid and some will say u did the right thing.But for the record,im sick of SHIFT WORK!Imagine i have to work during public holidays and couldn't attend to any special functions due to work?Just imagine.The only thing i miss is Visual Merchandising.I love dressing up the dolls.And god noes wad happened to the dolls durin my absence.I bet they are dressed like an ugly fugly.Whats new,being dressed up by an old nyonya.Ooops!Sorry but i just dun seem to like you dat much.Ok back to the bitches.Decided to have lunch with Nored.And yes camwhoring sessions,bitching sessions.Why do i miss out on all the fun and excitement especially when it involves gossips?Say wad the fuck u wana say.Im a girl.Dats wad we girls do.To end the day,i met the boyfriend in the evening.We all go our separate ways.Im sorry nored.Hehe. Zahidah lah siol rabak paitao ko.Kwang3.

Ans so i end the day with the boyfriend.I can't help feeling a lil bit of teensy bitsy of guilt. Shall not elaborate more.But i really hope this will work out in the end.I really hope you change. And yes,i like this part. "Gemok-gemok gini pon ada jugak org nak kenal2 dgn aku eh B" Haha. I've gained 4-5 kg in one fuckin year.I stopped dancing for a year.Request from the BF.But now the BF dah gerek.I can do shows from now on.Atleast i earn money lah bb.I got paid for a few hundred bux for a 5 minute show.Org gila je sial yg taknak.But hell no bb,you are not back to bartending. Kalau ko nk declare war dgn aku,ko go ahead.Ini part aku FANATIC sikit.

And sooooooooo..
Shall be meeting Zahida again in the morning for more job hunting madness.
So stay tune.

Feeza A,Chao.(mcm kenal)